Once I had forgotten what it meant to me, lost like the endlessly rising tides of the sea. The shadow and the light within me echoed endlessly as this repetitious existence robbed my sanity.
I took one last look back and a single breath, I felt your heart beating as I took the step ahead.
My heart let out a deep cry and I could feel you pleading, but it was only in this lonely solitude that I could feel you near.
I have trouble believing in a World so blind, when inner beauty and astonishment only fell on deaf ears. There’s a breeze on the wind that beats within. But that’s something you’d probably never understand, it’s like I’m the only one that’s alive…
I know there’s a place void of walls and full of things you’ve never seen and I begin to understand it now as the path washes clean. These shackles and chains have long since been broken. The ones who have never seen this have tried so hard to rip the truth to pieces and these crushing dreams have left me to be.
The truth was shattered into so many small pieces, but I still couldn’t understand why I couldn’t feel you anymore and I never could understand why I could no longer feel anything, anymore. Sorrow had left me cold and on my knees, but in the end I was the only one left to blame.
I thought I was just one more causality with another moment to be wiped away. I am to blame.
I’ve been lost, falling away from the World. Loosing myself to the sound of a voice. Everything within me, seeking, searching to find, meaning in all that’s surrounding me. There is this yearning that I can’t compromise, this need to give some part of me to someone. To share with someone a piece of my soul. To give someone the love that has been given to me all my life. Love is the answer to everything. Love comes with no excess baggage; no hate, no jealousy, no excuses and no tears.. That is fear. Fear which tries to destroy you. Fear which tries to tell you that you aren’t good enough, that you are going to lose something. There’s nothing to lose but yourself. Fear destroys you. But love is something you give and you feel the happiness knowing that you have given it. In essence, shared life with one another. Tears are cried in mourning. Fear that you’ll have no one to share it with. That, you have no need to worry about. Love will find you when void of the presence of fear. I’m finding myself and I’m realizing who I am and that there is nothing to fear. One day, I will find someone and I can trust and I have faith in that I will love her with my life and essence.
“A drop of acid leaves your eye….it falls into your soul and makes a small burn… each tear you create slowly destroys you.”
I don’t want to realize all that I’ve gone through to reach this moment that she says she has always known, but I don’t know if I can believe her.. I don’t want to realize how you left me here long ago, so blind that neither of us had known that some things we never can outgrow. I don’t want to realize all the pain I’ve gone through to meet you here. She said that she would always be near and that there was nothing to fear. I just want to close my eyes and dream of you and I together, just this moment lasting forever… She said that it could never be…
Magnified from a thousand miles away, missing you more than a thousand words can say, I can’t forget the past, not so fast. My heart feels as if it has been taken. I stare into absent space and begin to realize, I can’t get this gloom shaken.
