Here’s a new Audesi press photo.

Let me know what you think. Thanks. :)

“The true measure of person lies in how they treat someone who can do them absolutely no good.”

audesi2 (2:08:09 AM): most people pretty much suck. haha. that’s what I figure. very few really kule people. lol
em0_b0i (2:08:25 AM): you couldn’t have said it any better then that
audesi2 (2:08:55 AM): and then some people you’ll think are kule, cuz they’re nice to you.
audesi2 (2:09:21 AM): but you can kind of see in the way they treat other people besides you. and expect that someday they’d probably treat you the same way. lol
em0_b0i (2:10:44 AM): yah, certainly
audesi2 (2:11:46 AM): true worth of a person is in how they treat someone that can do absolutely no good for them at all. lol
em0_b0i (2:12:09 AM): amen brotha

Greets to those kule peeps! ;-)

I’ve dreamt so long that I cannot dream anymore. Let’s run away! Forget this life, come with me! There’s no need to tell anyone, they’d only hold us down! Unlock your heart, drop your guard. No one’s left to stop you now.

Le cumha do dhiaidh ní léir dom an bealach a shiúil. Deiridh lucht léinn gur claoite an galar an grá, Char admhaigh mé é is é `ndiaidh mo chroí istigh a chrá: Aicid ró-ghéar, faraor nár sheachain mé í isgo gcuireann sí arraing is céad go géar trí cheart-lár mo chroí.

Well, some good came out of the last song. I’ve been asked to do some session work and some string arrangement for a musician/singer friend of mine in Toronto. He says as an indie artist, on average he pays his programmers $20/hr. or $300 flat, because it’s usually 15hrs. worth of work per song. So I need to think about what it’s worth. That could probably be a good source of income, I’m thinking that maybe I should start doing session work and song writing for other people and also start looking for ways to get into doing some soundtrack work. Get my own compositions available for licensing deals as well as start doing the live shows.. Anyway, I really need to start thinking about the income sources.

If you don’t mind, this is probably the mushiest thing I’ve ever written. LMFAO.

My work of the last couple days. I decided to try Matt’s idea.. This is a musical idea that I pretty much played out on bass and sung freestyle without thinking about it too much. It came to me pretty easily and I got it recorded as quick as I could although I’m not sure how it exactly relates to the current situation in my life. lol. The rest was spent on the string arrangement. This is a rough draft.

This Way Forever

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Every time you look at me, I hope to see. See that look in your eyes that makes me feel complete. Everything I thought I had to say, suddenly vanishes and leaves me in defeat.

Because I have you in my arms, I’m happy and I pray that it will be this way forever.

For everything I ever wished that I could have been and everything we ever hope we can one day be. I see that the World make sense when I see it through your eyes. Destiny has called me to you and everything feels like it’s right.

Because I have you in my arms, I’m happy and I pray that it will be this way forever.

I found the truth in this moment, I learned about the greatest gift God gave the World. I seen all my hopes and dreams come to live, when I opened up my heart, I saw the light. Every time I look into your eyes, I see the signs and I know without a thought. I know without a doubt how it’s meant to be.

I really don’t know what to say lately. I suppose I’m content… Neither really down or really up. I’m just hoping for the best in the future, hoping that things will go well, but really uncertain about everything. Relationship wise, I think I’m mostly hoping for a new best friend. That happens to be a girl. heh. ;-)

This is a newly recorded and altered song idea I originally wrote in Nov 2002. Short lo-fi preview of the nights work:

Ripping Away

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I feel it ripping away from me,
I feel it turning into dust.
I feel you leaving me,
like it wasn’t strong enough.

Oh, why can’t you see all meaning is dieing?
It meant everything to me and my soul is crying.

So I say, maybe it will… all fade away,
if you’ll just leave me be.
But it will! I swear it will all fade away
if you don’t hold on to me!

Maybe it will all fade away if you’ll just leave me be.
But it will! I swear it will all fade away
if you don’t hold on to me!

Once I had forgotten what it meant to me, lost like the endlessly rising tides of the sea. The shadow and the light within me echoed endlessly as this repetitious existence robbed my sanity.

I took one last look back and a single breath, I felt your heart beating as I took the step ahead.

My heart let out a deep cry and I could feel you pleading, but it was only in this lonely solitude that I could feel you near.

I have trouble believing in a World so blind, when inner beauty and astonishment only fell on deaf ears. There’s a breeze on the wind that beats within. But that’s something you’d probably never understand, it’s like I’m the only one that’s alive…

I know there’s a place void of walls and full of things you’ve never seen and I begin to understand it now as the path washes clean. These shackles and chains have long since been broken. The ones who have never seen this have tried so hard to rip the truth to pieces and these crushing dreams have left me to be.

The truth was shattered into so many small pieces, but I still couldn’t understand why I couldn’t feel you anymore and I never could understand why I could no longer feel anything, anymore. Sorrow had left me cold and on my knees, but in the end I was the only one left to blame.

I thought I was just one more causality with another moment to be wiped away. I am to blame.

I’ve been lost, falling away from the World. Loosing myself to the sound of a voice. Everything within me, seeking, searching to find, meaning in all that’s surrounding me. There is this yearning that I can’t compromise, this need to give some part of me to someone. To share with someone a piece of my soul. To give someone the love that has been given to me all my life. Love is the answer to everything. Love comes with no excess baggage; no hate, no jealousy, no excuses and no tears.. That is fear. Fear which tries to destroy you. Fear which tries to tell you that you aren’t good enough, that you are going to lose something. There’s nothing to lose but yourself. Fear destroys you. But love is something you give and you feel the happiness knowing that you have given it. In essence, shared life with one another. Tears are cried in mourning. Fear that you’ll have no one to share it with. That, you have no need to worry about. Love will find you when void of the presence of fear. I’m finding myself and I’m realizing who I am and that there is nothing to fear. One day, I will find someone and I can trust and I have faith in that I will love her with my life and essence.

“A drop of acid leaves your eye….it falls into your soul and makes a small burn… each tear you create slowly destroys you.”

I don’t want to go… I never wanted what happened to happen… I miss you…

I don’t want to realize all that I’ve gone through to reach this moment that she says she has always known, but I don’t know if I can believe her.. I don’t want to realize how you left me here long ago, so blind that neither of us had known that some things we never can outgrow. I don’t want to realize all the pain I’ve gone through to meet you here. She said that she would always be near and that there was nothing to fear. I just want to close my eyes and dream of you and I together, just this moment lasting forever… She said that it could never be…

Magnified from a thousand miles away, missing you more than a thousand words can say, I can’t forget the past, not so fast. My heart feels as if it has been taken. I stare into absent space and begin to realize, I can’t get this gloom shaken.