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Solitude

Once I had forgotten what it meant to me, lost like the endlessly rising tides of the sea. The shadow and the light within me echoed endlessly as this repetitious existence robbed my sanity.

I took one last look back and a single breath, I felt your heart beating as I took the step ahead.

My heart let out a deep cry and I could feel you pleading, but it was only in this lonely solitude that I could feel you near.

I have trouble believing in a World so blind, when inner beauty and astonishment only fell on deaf ears. There’s a breeze on the wind that beats within. But that’s something you’d probably never understand, it’s like I’m the only one that’s alive…

I know there’s a place void of walls and full of things you’ve never seen and I begin to understand it now as the path washes clean. These shackles and chains have long since been broken. The ones who have never seen this have tried so hard to rip the truth to pieces and these crushing dreams have left me to be.

The truth was shattered into so many small pieces, but I still couldn’t understand why I couldn’t feel you anymore and I never could understand why I could no longer feel anything, anymore. Sorrow had left me cold and on my knees, but in the end I was the only one left to blame.

I thought I was just one more causality with another moment to be wiped away. I am to blame.

About the author

Earl Dixon - Audesi is the musical moniker of multi-instrumentalist/producer Earl Dixon who began recording in his small bedroom studio at the age of 11. Through the years he has undertaken a wide array of electronic styles, from techno-bass, trip-hop, ambient, breakbeat to electro clash. Throughout the 1990s, he was the founding member of the techno-bass, later acid-breakbeat group the Underground Bass Masters who went on to release three commercial records. He has done remixes for artists such as Celldweller & lvl. Currently he is recording a full length album.

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